Monday, February 28, 2011

Guest Post: What Men Can Learn from Romance Novels

Today, Lauren Bailey will give us her view on what men can truly learn from romances novels! How many of us have unrealistic expectations in the man in our life because of all the princes and reformed rakes we read about in books? Well, no ones perfect, but the clueless fellas in our lives can pick up a thing of two:
What Men Can Learn from Romance Novels
by Lauren Bailey
Valentine's Day may be long over, but that doesn't mean women still don't yearn for the kind of romance found in the pages of their favorite novel. While many men might complain that romance novels are fantasy and thus cause women to have unrealistic expectations about relationships, the truth of the matter is that there are a lot of practical concepts that men can pick up from reading a romance novel or two. Below are the top ways a romance novel can help men establish a meaningful relationship with their partner.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Many men have the false misconception that women only read romance novels to immerse themselves in a sexual fantasy. While this might be partly true, experts suggest that women mostly cling to romance novels because of the dialogue. While sure, men don't really speak like the heroes in romance novels in real life, the bottom line is that the characters actually speak—they communicate with their love interest. They don't avoid confrontations, shut down or leave the area when a conversation starts to get too intense or uncomfortable. They tell their interest what they want how they feel—most importantly how the woman makes them feel. Communicating might seem like a hard thing to do for most men since being "open" can sometimes be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability, but simply talking with your significant other can do wonders in helping establish a strong and long-lasting relationship. On a similar note, men need to learn how to enforce communication like a true hero—nodding your head to indicate you are listening, giving direct eye contact and touching her hand or caressing her face when appropriate. Equally important, try to avoid date activities that can reduce or even eliminate communication for a long period of time, like going to the movies for example.

Fight fair
Romance novels don't only depict blissfully in-love couples—they fight, argue and have to come up with solutions to work out the kinks in their relationships (just like in real life). The major difference however is the way that they fight. There is no name calling or use of profanity; there is no bringing up the past or use of threats and ultimatums.  So when an argument grows to an escalated proportion, it's vital that both men and women fight fair. Both parties should speak in a respectful manner, even when the argument gets extremely heated. You don't want to say something ugly or that you'll regret. While your significant other may "forgive" seldom are these exchanges of words forgotten and in the end, someone may end up holding a feeling of resentment. 

Participate in Romantic Overtures
One of the reasons women love romance novels so much is the fact that through the characters they get to experience the honeymoon period all over again—the period when everything is new and exciting and the hero goes to great measures to woo his interest.  No matter if you've been in a relationship for years, men need to understand that women still crave for this kind of affection because frankly, saying "I love you" sometimes isn't enough. Sure, you don't need to scuba dive for the rarest pearl in the bottom of the ocean to prove your love, but simple romantic overtures can do the trick such as lightning candles, playing soft music or dimming the lights to set the mood. It could even be something as simple as taking her to that new fancy restaurant she constantly hints at, cleaning the house to give her a break, or putting down the smart phone or remote when you're talking to her.  Whatever you can do to reaffirm your love, devotion and appreciation will help the relationship flourish.

Lauren Bailey is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. Questions and comments can be sent to: blauren99

Thanks Lauren for the interesting post. You guys can read a similar post called 'How To Woo Women Like A Romance Novel Hero' at Love Romance Passion: here

Comment your two cents on the topic. What attributes do you wish your significant other or men in general would pick up from a romance novel?

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